My Experience--Struggling in High School

Huang, Caizhong

I am a Chinese and I am from china. I am 19 years old and I am supposed to be in college now. But, I think I am not ready yet or I need a little more confidence for myself.

A 20 years old Chinese guy still stays in high school. It is quite common here and I have no strange feeling to ask my friend "how old are you?". However, I usually don't tell people about my age because it’s embarrassing. Therefore, my omnipotent announcement came out when the first time I got into classes: I must graduate from high school fast! Because I am not belonged to here!

After getting here, in order to face the challenges of my new life here, I make up my mind, nothing else is important but English. I deeply understand that if I am lack of English, I won't be able to do anything in this country. So, I begin English learning from ESL3, reading books and reciting vocabularies become a routine for me. Spending more time in study, less in sleeping, watching English TV news and listening English music through radio, I even taking notes while they are reporting and singing. I concentrate on nothing else but English. I believe if I keep on studying hard, my dream will come true. I will be able to speak English in no time. Then, by the time of my graduation, I will be so cool to stand at the stage, shouting in front of the whole world “ English, it’s not a big deal to me!”

Hopefully, the time finally came. I successfully request to study in regular English classes instead of Chinese-English classes. That is the first time I feel proud of myself, I tell myself that I will pass the class with my excellent class works and perfect scores, which was another promise formyself. This is a regents preparation class of U.S. Government, I am full of confident at the first place, but it doesn’t last too long until I figure out the truth. In a presentation, I fail. Nobody know what the heck I am talking about, not even a word. The teacher has headache after my noisy “performance”, and two of my classmates just got stomachache, their tear drop painfully and heavily, and so do I. I eventually taste the awful bitter reality. I want to give up but it’s too late, there is no more program change. After the classes, I become frustrated and irritated, I feel nervous to speak English. I lost myself because I can’t get rid of the laughing. Indeed, the experience haunts me that I become reticent and speak barely in the class--I am in war now.

Ironically, the UGovernment regent exam pulled me out of the dark, I got 97, which is the highest score of our school. With this unbreakable proof of my learning, I run to tell my historical teacher at once. I tell him that I deserve to have a higher average on my history class because the exam prove me is the best of the best at school. But he let me down again. He says: “ I can’t because I don’t understand you in class, I mean your English…” then, a pretty long explanation is fellow, telling me I am good student…and so on. At that time, I don’t really pay attention on him. I move on because I have learned a precious lesson from the experience that accept everything and always want to get out.

In the future, I tell myself that no matter how hard, how terrible, awful the situation is, I will accept, and I will try my best to get out of the situation fast. Meaning that I will keep on practicing my English no matter how people think of me, I will accept and then move on. Also, I will not feel embarrassed of my age anymore; I know I need to prepare myself in high school, but, I will not be here long because I desire to get out to see the outside of the world.